“Not bad parkin’ mate.” - After a fairly standard reverse park in a busy carpark at a small local shopping centre 'Turvey Tops', I look to my right. My window is open and so is hers. There's that moment when you catch someone's attention. it's so much stronger when the distance isn't much. We are next to each other in the carpark. her car is parked forwards so we weren't much more than a few feet apart with our driver's sides next to each other.

We all know that moment when we catch someone's eye and we get to choose to hold it or quickly look away. I do my best to try and hold it even though it can feel a little unusual like this question of 'ok, what now? Umm, sorry, I didn't mean to catch your attention.'

I'm so pleased I did.

She meets my gaze and holds it too. Then she smiles. A deep and welcoming grin. She is missing a couple of teeth but it makes no difference to the warmth I feel from her full faced smile, kindly wrinkles in the corners of her eyes. At this point, I'm just thinking, oh isn't she lovely giving me a smile like that.

It didn't end there. Still looking straight into my eyes she said,

"Not bad parkin' mate."

Not realising I was just part of some kind of parking world champs qualifier where not only was she watching, she had the kindness to offer her 'score' for my effort, my spirits lift.

I laugh with a deep thank you laugh and say "Thanks, so much! I went alright hey?"

"Yep"

I probably won't ever see her again, but I will definitely never forget that face and her simple kindness."

Sorry, I stole your carpark... - I'm pulling into our work carpark one day and as I approach our three reserved spaces, I'm frustrated. They are all taken. I recognise two of the cars but the third isn't one of ours.

Yeah, I'm frustrated, we pay money for them so we have quick access from our office to get to clients quickly if we need. They are signposted.

I'm about to turnaround to find another parking spot, hopefully free, further away, when I notice a flash of blue to my right. It was a guy coming out of the office that I was parked outside. My window was open and he simply says "Oh, sorry mate, I parked there and I forgot, I was going to use it quickly then move it. I'm so sorry."

A little shocked, I splutter out "Oh, it's fine mate, it's all good. Thanks for coming and moving it. That's the main thing and I appreciate your apology." Like Max Verstappen he whips his car out of the spot and I park.

I sat there for a moment taking it in because it was bigger than first appearances of just a guy moving his car.

I thought about it and realised that the moment he saw me out there, he did have a decision. He could have actually left me, I wouldn't have known. But bigger than that, of course by rushing out, he was prepared to name himself as the carpark thief.

He was prepared to own it, show me it was him and apologise.

I sat there for a moment basking in a happy feeling of kindness in what he did. It was a better outcome in the whole situation, for doing something he shouldn't have, then asking forgiveness, than if it never happened at all.

There's something special in that."

True Hospitality - Let's face it, toilets don't exactly always get priority attention in hospitality and social venues.

There is a bar/restaurant where I sometimes go where I did notice that turning the tap on in the toilet was a bit of a labour.

I didn't think it would be a priority for them though, so didn't say anything.

Well on this day, I was there for lunch. I headed into the toilets and there before me were nice shiny new tap handles. Turning them on was like a dream of ease and comfort.

I was really impressed. So impressed that despite thinking it a little silly at first, I approached the manager and told him that I thought it was really kind to spend the money on that for the sake of customers. I said that I figure it's not exactly a huge reason people choose to go to such a venue so to spend money on it was kind and thoughtful.

He was really happy and thankful.

He said how aligned what I'd said was, with his intent when he did it. So I was really pleased that I told him!

PS That pic isn't the actual bathroom! I just grabbed a pic for the sake of it. Didn't want to risk being caught taking a picture of the actual bathroom!"

2 for 1 Deal! A kind young woman and a kind young man - I was walking back to my car from a cafe and noted a young woman walking ahead of me. As we walked, I noticed ahead of her, coming in the opposite direction, an old man with walking stick.

He was unsteady and looked down down for balance as he walked towards her and without realising it, moved into her path. Technically, she had right of way.

She saw him in an instant, slowed right down to check herself and his trajectory, then after half stopping, she side stepped to the path the elderly man was on originally. It was so aware and observant. She didn't stop there.

Next thing, she beamed a big beautiful smile at him. One of those ones designed to offer joy to someone. Her kindness was so freely given too because, of course, he had no clue what she'd done as he was looking down. She didn't make him earn it in any way. It was very touching to witness.

1 minute and 48 seconds later...

... I get in my car to leave the car park and as I'm approaching the exit, I pull up behind an elderly lady in her car, driving very slowly towards the road.

A car was approaching from our right on the road which we would have to give way to but the car slowed right down and the driver motioned for her to pull out. I'm pretty confident this man had seen the elderly woman and wanted to help her get out easily.

It was inspiring to see two older members of our community looked after so kindly by two younger members within such a short time span. I was really chuffed."

Brownie for the cabling guy - There was a cabling guy here to finish an install on a Saturday because it didn't go to plan for his boss/team during the week.
He was a young guy and I doubt it was that exciting for him on a Saturday.
My wife had made some brownies and as soon as she was done, they weren't even cut yet, she said "want to take some out to your friend?"
This is what she does. Things for others.
As a tool it out to him and said "would you like a brownie, his eyes almost popped out of his head."
He was even happier.
So wonderful to be a link in the chain of my wife's kindness. She was the instigator ultimately.

My son wanting to spend time with me. - A lovely little exchange with my son, that was big.

To know that he wants to spend time with me.

AND that he feels ok to tell me.

Heart full!

Day Surgery GPS - I'm waiting at a day surgery centre and a guy walks in, proceeds to the front desk with his phone out and asks for directions.

It strikes me how direct he is about it and I wonder how it will be handled.

The team member at the counter, whose job is clearly not to give directions stops and looks at him. It's a welcoming look. He shows her his phone and says "I'm trying to get here."

She points him in the right direction with a big smile and he turns and leaves.

His smile is bigger

I am so pleased that I am able to tell her how kind she was, because...

I discover, she is actually the nurse looking after me today.

Oh, if you need a friend.... I'm sailing right behind - I'm only an occasional Instagram user, mainly using it to check cute or funny dog video's that my wife sends me.

I'm so pleased I didn't miss this particular notification from Annette, a good friend well met and friendship built via a series of online workshops and shared writing time online even to the point of sharing some accountability in each other's projects.

After noticing and wondering about some possible discomfort on a zoom call, I had sent Annette an email just to check in. It was after sending this to her that I found this lovely affirmation.

Across our global village, even online, kindness is alive and well.

I feel very relaxed looking at you ... - A man approaches the table in front of me as I sit here in the Corner Store Cafe in Bendigo working on my laptop... on KindLoook!

I look up and he meets my eyes with a smile and friendly countenance and he says.

"You do actually look like you're working."

His wry grin comes across as friendly and free of judgement, that he is imparting a genuine comment yet with a cheeky sense of humour that often maybe he sees people 'working' in a cafe when they might not be...

I meet his grin with my own and offer.

"I even have a spreadsheet open!"

He laughs then simply shares

"I feel relaxed looking at you."

"Oh well thank you, if there's one way I'd like people to feel around me, that's very much one of them!"

I always love the apparently 'small exchanges'. He could have said nothing but he was brave and chose to engage with a kind disposition, which set the tone of the whole interaction.

He shows me that kindness is all around us, when we witness it in men like him.

Men of Peace - In July and August last year, I had the honour of attending funerals for two people who lived full and giving lives. Special people to the communities of people that were built around them by the way they lived.

The kindness I witnessed in both these services, from those who gathered, was rich, and wrapped up with a deft touch of love and care by the ministers who led the services.

It's a saying we know all too well, that we can't be all things to all people, and yet on these two days I witnessed it, through the humility and kind hearts of these two men.

It had me reflecting about the difficulty of their task. Finding themselves in the midst of a diverse community of friends and family, those who profess a faith and those who don't. It was their job to lead a faith liturgy that held the wishes of the deceased and their family at its core, not shirking the belief's of that faith, and to do it in such a way that allows grieving, sadness, healing, faith beliefs, and ultimately a celebration of life... oh and to make it feel inclusive.

It's quite the project brief.

And I witnessed two men, at the height of their wisdom, skill, and kindness, absolutely nail it.

It was as if every word was carefully crafted with years of preparation to be founded on the faith that the faithful departed lived by with a spirit that all could feel loved by as we said goodbye.

The goodbye also felt like a hello.

Such was their ministry, it felt like a welcome invitation to appreciate what the faith element meant to these wonderful people, so kindly delivered that it offered everyone from every background to feel a part of that, to feel included and reflect on any meaning they might notice and hold.

I'm confident everyone would have found themselves invited into reflection on their own lives and felt encouraged forward to the best version of themselves and how they live and care for others.

To Monsignor David Tonks and The Reverend Tom Frame, peace be with you. And if you do ever read this, I offer my utmost and heartfelt thanks for your effort, skill, and heart full kindness for all in the celebration of the lives of Stephanie (Aunty Steph) Barfoot and Pete Davis.

An Actual Holiday - I've called this KindLoook 'Actual Holiday' because sometimes holidays can be interrupted with work. This has been especially true for me as a business owner in years gone by. Taking leave can be really hard if something comes up that it seems only you can deal with.

This break of a few days was to allow my wife and me to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary.

Our complete focus is to protect people as much as we can in our team so that any holiday is truly disconnected where we can completely focus on the people we are with or the activity or relaxation we are enjoying with no invading mental engagement even with the slightest call to drag us back to work. It's important to protect everyone, even the leaders.

Our team delivered this protection with aplomb during this time and I was never called once. This was despite a significant issue occurring while I was away that most definitely had to be dealt with on my return. The thing was that the issue could actually be successfully left until I returned and even though it was big upon my return it allowed me to process it when I was back at work instead of having it in my head whilst I was away.

It allowed me to be completely in the moment with my wife, not infiltrating that memory with anything beyond each other.

It meant the absolute world to me in helping create a lifelong memory for my wife and I.

Seen from a distance ... And it's never too late. - Today I received a message, you know, one of those out of the blue ones, with the subject included in the pic... "Thanks for all!"

I opened it to discover a sweet thank you from someone.

I've been hosting online writing sessions since May 2020 tied to various communities and workshops and Stephanie had attended one maybe 6 to 12 months ago.

She thought of dropping me a line to say thank you... and she didn't stop there thankfully.

In receiving this, I felt thought of, very seen and cared for.

She proves that the only 'too late' is never and I notice that the length of time only amplifies how wonderful this feels, not the other way around.

A Brotherly Embrace - I'm sitting in a restaurant and see one man approach another who is sitting.

The man sitting, upon seeing him, almost leaps out of his chair, his face lit up and they embrace each other.

It lights me up.

I'm seeing more blokes prepared to give each other a hug in public.

Even here in Australia where us blokes haven't been that known for it.

It makes me smile to think about it.

Maybe the culture is shifting. I sure hope it is because if anything helps men know they can express themselves, to seek help, to show their gentle, and very real side, there's a lot found right here.

At some point the chance to hug a man we love will be gone and we might wish we did it more.

If my Dad had died today it probably would have been called young. It would have been his 77th birthday today.

Thing is, he died 35 years ago. I was 14.

I was a boy, a young man you might say (I was a boy), and he hugged me unashamedly and fully anywhere, any time, if I wanted it.

And I always did.

And the tears fill my eyes and drench my cheeks.

I think he would have been the guy to hug his mates, his brothers, anywhere any time. I'll never know that because, well, I only got to spend 14 years with him. But I'll put any money on him, whenever he saw me today, and oh God I wish for that, that he would hug and kiss me like I was that 14 year old boy.

Let's move beyond the false fear of expressing affection and gratitude for our boys and men and dish out a hug because we feel like it.

Happy 77th Dad. I miss you terribly.

(yeah, that's him in the pic at Waihi Beach NZ where we used to spend family holidays)

https://tinyurl.com/brotherlyembrace

This could be one of the best texts ever... - A text out of the blue and full of kindness received this morning from a Fairy Godmother.

I am so glad you are on the planet.

To be seen like this, to be cared for, its the opposite of opposites of what I experienced on the playground as an 8 year old and it heals that boy inside.

For some reason I feel like I could go and move mountains now... Ill let you know when Im done.

Thank you Miss L.

A note from the ether-net - Not so long ago I joined in at Seth's 'Purple Space'. It's an online community for people engaging in their creativity to practice, share draft work for feedback/engagement, and ship their work. On this day I received the most wonderful message from someone I'd never met or connected with in her or my work.

It was totally out of the blue and left me feeling gold.

I was so moved by this - getting a note like this from someone is always so big for me as I stop and think 'wow, you took time in your day, likely just as busy as everyone else's and chose to think of me, to send me a note on top of having spent time engaging with and reading my work.'

A couple of highlights from the note from D without sharing it entirely:

"I just found read through your profile and what you are doing with KindLoook, and thought it's fascinating."

"The amount of feedback I've gotten on a piece I wrote about kindness just shows how we are sometimes kind to strangers but not enough to those in our lives."

"With joy,"
- had to include this, because this really does sum up how I felt.

"PS: By the way, I love the play of words here"
- She linked to a part of my content with some impactful wording. I work hard to create this kind of moment for people reading so it was very special for me for her to name this.

So happy, thank you D!
D

Got a spare Multi-Function Device? - Recently we had a client who was really struggling with some new printers that were installed. We are an IT provider and it was a large client and a significant issue, very random, with no clear fix or path to resolution. We'd never seen it before, and it was proving impossible to get to the bottom of.

We wondered if putting a different brand of printer in, to eliminate the printer as an issue, might be a good idea. The problem was getting hold of one as this was a larger volume scanner/copier/printer.

I had a friend who has worked in this area for years, who also used to work on our team so I gave him a call to see if he could help.

There was no promise of anything in return - the client had actually just recently chosen a new supplier for their printing.

This was just a request for help, it wasn't that easy to ask in fact. Bryan's response was emphatic. Within a day he'd sourced an option for us and was working with one of our team to get it to us/installed.

He even let us have the device there for a number of months as we tested all kinds of possible issues with why the two other new printers weren't working. We even worked with him to get his thoughts on the situation and what might be breaking because it appeared to be with the device itself or the supplier software that made it work... or not! He was engaged in the challenge as if the issue was his own to solve.

We felt his kindness keenly and of course that of the leaders/owners in his business as his actions here and sourcing a printer would have needed to have their support too.

We did our best to share knowledge learned, which was valuable for him, from what the cause was (it did end up being the printer management software from a third supplier in case you were wondering, and I know you weren't) and we did send some chocolate to their team

And I was so excited that I was able to thank him in person today and at least gift him with a KindCoin.

Thank you Bryan!

Being interested is so kind - I hadn't spoken to her in years and wasn't even necessarily planning on it today. She was originally someone I met through business and had become a friend. What happened was that I was investigating visiting a local business support group to do some networking and to consider applying to join to further the work of KindLoook in the local community and how I might also contribute to the group.

I found the group's page and as I browsed the member list, there she was. She was one of a few people I knew on the list. I know from past experience with this group, that it's beneficial to her in her contribution to the group to host me as a visitor and if I did actually apply and was accepted, that I think she plays a role in the on-boarding process. All of this added up to it being a good idea to contact her and see if she was happy to 'invite' me to attend a meeting.

I drafted her an email, I think I did that because it had been so long since we'd spoken so it seemed like a good idea. Then a funny thing happened. The moment I finished it I, kind of saw her face and thought 'why are you emailing, you should give her a call, she might appreciate saying hi again.'

So I called and she answered.

Lisa is warm and enthusiastic and this is how she began, the approx. 3 years since we'd chatted were irrelevant. After our initial exchanges where I explained why I was calling, of course we got onto KindLoook.

This is when things got amazing. Lisa took complete hold of the energy of the call and lead a charge of exploration, fascination, listening, and ultimately, of interest, in what it was and what I was doing. When we got done 35 minutes later - Lisa is a busy entrepreneur by the way - it didn't feel like there was one iota of effort, incursion into her day, or labour of lifting in what she did. I know she would pass this off and say something like 'oh, that's nothing, that's what everyone does.'

It's not what everyone does.

But it is what people who have practiced kindness do and for those who have mastered it, they tend to do it without thinking and say things like 'oh, that's nothing, that's what everyone does'. In fact they are so good at it and not having you feel like they were doing any heavy lifting to be kind, that you have to look closely because you might miss it because they do it naturally, like breathing... and part of the mastery is that they don't want you to feel if there was any effort or debt to pay as a side effect.

I told her how grateful I was for her in how interested she was and how kind it was for me. I felt seen.

This was an experience of laser sharp clarity of what it's like to be on the receiving end of someone being interested in you.

Thank you Lisa.

Being interested is so kind - I hadn't spoken to her in years and wasn't even necessarily planning on it today. She was originally someone I met through business and had become a friend. What happened was that I was investigating visiting a local business support group to do some networking and to consider applying to join to further the work of KindLoook in the local community and how I might also contribute to the group.

I found the group's page and as I browsed the member list, she was one of a few people I knew on the list. I had past experience with this group and knew that it's beneficial to her in her contribution to the group to host me as a visitor and if I did actually apply and was accepted, that I think she plays a role in the on-boarding process. All of this added up to it being a good idea to contact her and see if she was happy to ‘invite' me to attend a meeting.

I drafted her an email, I think I did that because it had been so long since we'd spoken so it seemed like a good idea. Then a funny thing happened. The moment I finished it I, kind of saw her face and thought ‘why are you emailing, you should give her a call, she might appreciate saying hi again.'

So I called and she answered.

Lisa is warm and enthusiastic and this is how she began, the approx. 3 years since we'd chatted were irrelevant. After our initial exchanges where I explained why I was calling, of course we got onto KindLoook.

This is when things got amazing. Lisa took complete hold of the energy of the call though it was a seamless moment as she led a charge of exploration, fascination, listening, and ultimately, of interest, in what it was and what I was doing. She offered deep affirmation that this was a great idea, even started sharing how the curriculum was so true and needed, was offering ideas to contribute, and that if anyone could to this, I could. When we got done 35 minutes later - Lisa is a busy entrepreneur by the way - it didn't feel like there was one iota of effort, incursion into her day, or labour of lifting in what she did. I know she would pass this off and say something like ‘oh, that's nothing, that's what everyone does.'

It's not what everyone does.

But it is what people who have practiced kindness do and for those who have mastered it, they tend to do it without thinking and say things like ‘oh, that's nothing, that's what everyone does'.

In fact they are so good at it and not having you feel like they were doing any heavy lifting to be kind, that you have to look closely because you might miss it because it's like breathing for them, and part of the mastery is that they don't want you to feel if there was any effort or debt to pay as a side effect.

I told her how grateful I was for her in how interested she was and how kind it was for me. I felt seen.

This was an experience of laser sharp clarity of what it's like to be on the receiving end of someone being interested in you.

I don't think I have the words to fully express what this experience was like so I hope this KindLoook at least gets somewhere along that road.

Thank you Lisa.

She made dinner again - She does that and she's done it so many times over so many years.

It's so kind.

Every single time.

A Washing Basket of Kindness - The last 14 years of our life for my wife and I have been nothing short of, let's just say, full.

We have four boys and our youngest turned 14 this year, so whilst things started getting full on when our first boy arrived six years before him, I decided to only highlight the peak load period!

It's been an absolute whirlwind at times... hurricane?

I guess it's all of our dreams to see our children develop and appreciate the gift it is to be kind and thoughtful and to want that to be part of how they move through life.

On this day, I remember returning home and there in front of me was a full basket of kindness staring back at me.

Our third boy, 16, had folded the pile of clean washing for us - this was stuff we would normally fold, beyond his own clothes. This one wasn't 'his job' per se, but he made it his.

Washing/laundry is at the centre of life and what can feel like a drain on it over the course of a weekend can't it... and with children it's next level.

I remember being so impacted. I felt seen and cared for.

Thank you Henry.